Taper Tantrums

I wasn’t going to blog again until next week…

However…

I am having what can only be described as ‘Taper Tantrums’ during this hideous little necessary part of Marathon training called the ‘tapering period’. It’s when after months and months and MONTHS of training you finally 2-3 weeks before the big day itself have to cut back your training considerably in order to be fully prepared for actual Marathon day.

Sound good? Well in theory it does and you do spend every little weary week of those months in the build up quite looking forward to the moment when they say you can cut it back and rest more. Until you get there of course!  Then ‘this’ is what happens to you:

·         Extreme Anxiety
Worry over every little thing to do with race day from getting up late, eating wrong, trains breaking down or forgetting crucial things like your race number and chip. 

·         Restlessness
A wickedly stupid symptom that has leaves you frustrated each time you have to sit down and do nothing 

·         Insomnia
I seem to be able to fall asleep at the drop of a hat when I want to relax and watch something on telly, but then spend all of the nightime awake and going insane watching the time tick by.

·         Nightmares

Yep, these are now in full effect! I seem to get them just before I wake up each morning so then I invariably awake panic-stricken.

·         Headaches
I don’t get headaches (finally something I don’t normally get eh?) but now I have them in abundance.

·         Psychological pressure
I am looking forward to Marathon Day. I am unprepared for Marathon Day. I am ready and rocking for Marathon Day. I have not done enough. I want to run now. I don’t want to run. I am letting myself down. I am letting everyone else down. I am deliriously happy to be this close. I am stunned and stressed that I am this close.

·         Phantom pains

My toe hurts. My ankle hurts. My knee hurts. My toenail looks odd. Are those blisters? My hip hurts, my back hurts. Did my knee just click then? Is that my throat? I feel sick. 

·         Real and problematic pains

My toe hurts. My ankle hurts. My knee hurts. My toenail looks odd. Are those blisters? My hip hurts, my back hurts. Did my knee just click then? Is that my throat? I feel sick.

·         Tons of energy

Woohoo – Let’s clean the house, the car, the garden, the house again. Let’s go shopping in Westfield, take a walk through the Forest – anything PLEASE!

·         Absolutely NO energy

Go AWAY, leave me alone, let me lie down on this sofa, in this bed, in this bath. Pass me my drink, my hot water bottle, my duvet, my drink again, my dinner.

·         An urge to run all the time

So NOW you bring me Spring weather after months of flipping NARNIA!!! I want to go do a long run now, not the other week in the ice and freezing cold snowy wind. Are those RUNNERS I spy from the window beside my desk? I want to go and join them.

·         Panic each time you run

Shite, was that my knee again? Achilles? ITB? Iliopsoas muscle or Glute? I have turned into a medical dictionary of utter panic.

·         Panic Attacks generally

OMG I have overslept. OMG I am late. OMG I can’t find my trainpass.  OMG, where is my security pass?. OMG my purse my flipping purse. OMG what day is it?

·         Paranoia

Are they discussing me? Are they worried about me? Is everyone worried about me? What is wrong with me? Am I doing something wrong? Is there something wrong with me? Why does nobody care about me?

·         Irritability

Get the HELL OUT OF MY FACE! Do it now, quickly, run (oh GOD …the running word) just go away PLEASE.

·         Obsessive behaviour with weather forecasts
Will it be sunny on Marathon Day? Will it be cold on Marathon Day? Will it be raining on Marathon Day? Will it be sunny but with a slight breeze on Marathon Day? Can you get an accurate 14 day/12 day/10 day/7 day weather forecast? Don’t like the answer?...try another google search until you do.

·         Crying
and then there is crying. ALL OF THE TIME (except in public) Just simply add the word crying to the end of ALL OF THE ABOVE and then you get my current psychosis.

So why have I decided to suddenly share all of the above with you? Because if you just think this is me ‘usually’ you are very very wrong (although I get why you might say that). This is me on a ‘speed version’ of myself. This is me for the last week already, for the next week yet to come and this is going to be me right up until the one and only solution for Taper Tantrums – and this is actual Marathon Day itself – where most (and hopefully ALL) of the above symptoms magically disappears!

Have your ‘game face’ ready for me when you meet me…I am extreme versions of myself. Stay clear if you possibly can and save your sympathies for those that have to live with me until the day!

Much love all

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